Do You Pay Yourself First? in all ways?

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pay yourself

I was watching a video and the financial advisor said, Do you pay yourself first? Hmmm? What?

And for my philosphical mind, the question became, wow, this is a metaphor for how we choose to live isn’t it?

After all when we choose outside factors rather than internal needs, that just might mean we are short cutting our own viablity, yes?

So it started me thinking, (uh oh!)  How are we living our lives and our business in ways that best suit our higher good?

Yeah, I warned you I was thinking..LOL.

But seriously, if we are not in every way paying ourselves first, what message are we conveying?

pay yourself

Yup, we don’t matter. Oops…did I really say that?

Can I take it back?

Is it time for a do over? (ummm, how many chances do I get??)



So let’s break it down. Or at least.. I am going to break it down so that I undertand my own direction. And I really want to hear your thoughts on this topic. Ok? Do speak up. Because I am guessing that I might not be in this row boat alone, yes?

As business owners we are working really hard each day for goals that we want to meet. But how often do we take those goals and see them as our internal compass also? Or not?


  1. If I am working 15 hours a day, how am I really paying myself?
  2.  If I make a sale where does that money go? Paying bills or paying myself?
  3. If I am so busy at my desk that I forget to eat and drink, what message am I telling myself?
  4. If I think that my work comes before anything else, what quality of life do I have?

Because as we do business is, drum roll please… as we do life. Hmm, that takes us to accountabilty, doesn’t it?

Whether or not we choose to look at this. As I probably have not fully allowed myself to see. What am I really doing in the way I am running and growing my own business? Am I putting myself first? Which takes me to an expression. Yuk. Self care!

pay yourself

Arggh, Self Care!

And that is not being selfish. That is self care.

I  do not like that expression!  I find myself wrestling with it all the time. It has taken me loads of adjustment to get used to it.  First off, this old blonde, came from the era that “self care” meant selfish.

I was not taught that taking care of self is the most important gift we can give to ourselves. That when we take care of self, we are also taking care of others. Novel to me!

I was taught others always come first. And that thinking about your own needs was.. so very selfish! Was that your experience?

But there is a real disconnect with that. Because when we decide to put others first, and we have not fed ourselves, there is no fuel left to give.

And ohh dear business owners, where does that get us?

I can tell you.. I just spent about a week in the hospital. Yeah burnout and ignoring our bodies. Is that paying ourselves first? many times can we answer this incorrectly?

So new tactics are emerging. Tell me if this works for you too!

pay yourself

Paying yourself first means:

Looking at all the facets of our lives, from social to business, to family to quiet and leisure time. Lets do business first, lol.

As our business grows:

What are our goals for how we are going to handle the flow of money?

  1. do we choose to just spend it as it comes?
  2. do we choose to invest it all?
  3. do we choose to put a percentage of it in savings or investment?
  4.  will we be able to help others but help ourselves first?

I like the idea that this question also begs us to look at the choices we make in our lives.

For instance:

1.are we always so busy that we give to others and not to ourselves?

2. do we even remember to notice?

3. what steps are we taking to insure our security and financial viability?

4. what steps are we taking to insure time for meditation /prayer and down time?

5. are we able to find balance and moderation ?

6. are we spending time with those that we love?


pay yourself first

In our personal lives:

  1. are we taking moments to regroup?
  2. are laughing during the day?
  3. do we get up from the ‘puter and take breaks?
  4. are we connecting with our families and friends daily?
  5. are we making time for our own creative outlets?
  6. are we planning fun outings?
  7. are we taking time to feed our souls?

What steps are we to take to answer  how we do self care and pay yourself first? 

pay yourself

So I don’t know about you, but speaking for me, this is the hardest part. I know all of this rationally. That does not translate to making it happen. Whew! I said it.

What is next then?  Changing my not self care thinking. Really? Yup!

How?  Does paying ourselves lead to happier fuller life? 

Yes it does. Because we find our balance. My family is always telling me to pace myself. And I smile back and say pace? Umm, how do you spell it?

And perhaps living with several chronic illnesses gives me a very different albeit skewed view…lol.. I remember one health care provider saying to me, anytime you have a good day. you get to go wild.

And I have taken that to heart. No matter what  my state of health is, I want each day to be filled to the brim!  And even as my mother used to say.. my cup runneth over.

But that comes with a disclaimer doesn’t it? Overdoing and not being in balance means out of balance. And for sure not paying yourself first.


pay yourself first



Well, here we are. On yet another journey of self discovery and self care. The dilemma as we face this crossroads is really taking to heart the decision to be true to ourselves. Paying yourself first is not just a whim. It is the ability to honor and love yourself. And that counts in our business also.

And there is nothing worse than betraying our deepest self, is there? So what our next steps are is dependent on the choices we make. Do we work 15-17 hours per day? Do we forget to eat and drink?

Or do we step up to honor the beauty of our own beings and say, I love me enough to always know what is good for me.

And I make this promise to myself that whenever I realize my actions are not in my best interest, I will stop that action.  Whew, that is powerful yes?

So when my first cool million rolls in, I will be prepared for how I am going to handle that flow of cash Because I will have also taken action to care and pay for myself first.

That money will first go into investment or savings. And that is the perfect metaphor isn’t it? I will always then have a resevoir of all that I might need.

When that is taken care of.. then I will feed the world!

Now that is living well, yes? Paying yourself first.

Its how we have to live.

It isn’t a choice.

In peace and gratitude,

Founder, CEO

living one heart-centric moment at a time!

If you are ready to take that step into living well and writing well and having your own online business and need some help getting started here are two options!

And our newest site that truly teaches learn to earn! 


1 thought on “Do You Pay Yourself First? in all ways?

  1. Great article, Ariel.
    I hope you are in recovery mode as I write this comment. Yes, you are so NOT alone in this one. We often forget ourselves in the quest for greatness, provision for others, and I am sure the list can go on and on.
    I will heed the quiet, small voice within and remember this article. Thanks for sharing.

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